Never pretend you're a Unicorn by sticking a plunger on your head

Month: December, 2013

Ani Difranco, My Hero: Makes Racist Decisions and Hurts Many

Ani Difranco, the wild feminist singer who defined my own feminism and saved my life with her music, fucked up. In short, she scheduled a music/writing retreat and found out after booking it that it was to be held on an old plantation. After widespread backlash from some very brave feminists of color who took mostly to the internet to voice their disappointment and hurt, Difranco canceled the retreat. She issued a formal cancelation and apology on facebook:

This is proving to many to not be enough of an apology. The biggest criticism of Difranco’s post is that she turned herself into the victim, by not knowing the venue or its history. When instead she should have not made so many excuses and should have issued a more sincere and heartfelt apology. I agree with this criticism. However, I also support Difranco in her attempts to reconcile with her peers. I think this was a good step and overall she made the right decision to cancel after making the wrong decision to hold the retreat at the venue to begin with.

The backlash against her apology is heartfelt and in some cases very eloquent and I encourage my readers to look it up. I hope this dialogue is the beginning of a very rough road towards solidarity for all feminists, not just white feminists.


Give a Feminist Gift This Holiday Season [Lady Bits]

20 Cats Totally Pwning Christmas Trees

U Lose

One of my favorite photos taken from my trip around Italy. This is from old Rome.

New Blog about my New Adventures!

Havasu Falls

Here’s another picture of one of my greatest adventures into the Grand Canyon

1. A Lister: A Short Story

1.     Trained in Journalism by American University.

2.     Editor and Chief of The Eagle (AU newspaper)

3.     Internship with Washington Post

Now, I work as a new-age Journalist for I am a lister, I write only lists; They are often accompanied by pictures and gif sets of:

1.     Puppies

2.     Kittens

3.     90s TV shows

4.     Babies

5.     Barack Obama

I am made of:

1.     Arms

2.     Legs

3.     A Range Rover

4.     Coffee

5.     Therapy appointments

6.     Dread for explaining to my father what I am “doing with my life”

About 1 in every 4 Lists I propose are published. Examples of the unpublished ones are:

1.     5 Countries USA makes look worse than they are

2.     Top 10 rudest questions to never ask an A-Sexual person

3.     Women you have never heard of (and don’t need to)

The one that was published:

1.     11 Pop Culture Portraits Painted on Toilet Seats.

The Next few weeks went like this:

1.     Proposed 5 new lists to be published

a.     3 reasons “50 Shades of Grey” sucks

b.     10 of the Most Depressing Hallmark Card Quotes

c.      Top 5 Vegetables that will Give You Diarrhea  (with gif sets)

d.     The “Passion of the Christ” Drinking Game

e.     4 Examples of Why Beyonce is Not Hot

2.     Boss hated all of them

3.     I Cried in the bathroom

4.     Boss called me back in, made fun of me for crying

5.     Gave me the list of the week with the most hits

6.     Told me to follow that list, to pay attention to how its written (listing is an art)

The List he gave me was titled “3 Things You Need to Make Your Life More Fulfilling”

1.     A Pet (accompanied by gif sets of puppies and sleeping kittens)

So I went out and got a cat. I rescued her at the pound, took her to the vet, bought her food and a laser pointer, and brought her home. I named her Addie and played with her and fed her before going to bed. I woke up to the mostly white fuzz sleeping on my head. It was a very touching moment until I rolled over and felt my hand enter a warm sticky mound. Addie preferred my bed to the litter box. Shuffling into my living room I found that the drapes were torn down, the couches ripped up, and all of the water glasses and house plants were tipped over. I watched as Addie urinated on my computer.

2.     A Netflix Account

I watched every season available of Gossip Girl, Malcolm in the Middle, Star Treck. Used 3 of my 5 allowed paid sick-days. Only ate fast delivered food, gained 10 pounds, the cat slept on my feet. That was nice. I made a list of my favorite things to do while watching Netflix but forgot to email them to my boss.

3.     A Pair of Lucky Underwear

Bought a new pair from target. Realized I have no idea how to make underwear lucky. I lit some candles in a circle around the grey-striped underwear and willed them to be lucky. The cat sat down on top of them.  I wore the lucky underwear to work the next day. Nothing Changed. I didn’t write anything anyone liked.

I took up knitting instead of following that stupid list. I refuse to write a list about knitting.